Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Sleeping Expert

Hello friends, I am an expert in sleeping and I have decades of sleeping experience behind me. Recently I have won the life time achievement award in sleeping from my aged parents. I have been conferred with ‘Honorary Doctorates’ in sleeping by many an Indian and foreign universities.

I am narrating my experiences in sleeping from my childhood days as told by my parents, my wife, my friends, my colleagues in various offices where I have worked, my childhood friends, my classmates in schools and colleges and my relatives.

I have won many a titles for my expertise in sleeping like ‘Modern Kumbakarna’ and ‘sleeping bird’ etc.

I have many friends from my childhood days who are also experts in sleeping but specialists in their own way. Even high profile personalities like our former Prime Minister Deva Gowda are my friends whose way of sleeping is unique. Gowdaji is famous for short spells of naps and I admire him for his audacity to have naps even in the course of important cabinet meetings. I consider him as my equal peer.Unfortunately Gowdaji has not been so far conferred with any awards or titles for his unique talent.I hope he will be honoured at least posthumously.

When I was a baby I used to sleep mostly during daytime and I was awake during night hours and my mother lost her sleep many a days.

In the schools and colleges, my favourite sitting place was the last bench which was more convenient for sleeping and many a chalk pieces hurled at me to wake up me from slumber were simply powdered.It was a thrilling experience to sleep unmindful of what was happening inside the class and simply ignore the lecture when the whole class was watching attentively.

My sleeping experience in my office had many classical episodes.I was twice suspended while I was in service and was at last terminated from service for my perseverance in my sleeping.
I need twice the amount of bus or train charges to reach my destination, because I used to sleep when I reach my destination. For example when I board a train from Chennai to reach Villupuram, I invariably landed at Trichy and returned back to Villupuram. When the bus is bound for Villupuram only, it is the responsibility of the conductor to wake me up.

I am very passionate in sleeping and I want to leave my rich experience in sleeping to my posterity.

For the young children who want to sleep instantly, take your text book of any subject which you hate or find it difficult to learn and begin to do your home work, your sleep is assured.

For office-goers, either in office or at home, choose an important file that needs urgent attention and turn a page and peep into it, your sleep is guaranteed.

From my childhood days, I used to have a banana before entering the class or office and I was instantaneously rewarded with sleep.My years of experience in sleep says that the ingredient of a banana and the sleeping pill are one and same.
Have a bath in chill water and go to bed. Within minutes you will sleep.

Thank you friends for hearing my painstaking lecture on sleep that emanated from my years of experience in sleeping. Happy sleeping; Enjoy sleeping; Become an expert in sleeping; Nothing is impossible. Wish you all a deep sleep!